oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Randomize
