Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
