He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
how do flat chested girls get laid?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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