Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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