I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We left the knife in your bed.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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