If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize