We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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