You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
