Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
