thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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