Sry I called you an 8
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
