I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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