I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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