we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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