I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
