i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
