you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she looked like the before picture.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
