I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
