my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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