That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
