He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
