1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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