ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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