i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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