I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
