i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
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