I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
