It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
