You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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