To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
They have beer where we have blood.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
