Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
