i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
