She's JV to your varsity
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
