If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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