You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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