are you so shy because you have an std?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
