I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
my liver is dry heaving
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