I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
