Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
