apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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