Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
