i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
