Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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