I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
