Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
