You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
