there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
