we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
