So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She told me I should be a condom model.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
