Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
