dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
