Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
