you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
