I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
