we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
So squirting runs in the family.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
