Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
